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HHH 10:33 Mon Feb 8
Britain is Talentless
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To cut a short story long I had the misfortune to attend the Britains Got Talent auditions in London this afternoon.
2hrs in a queue to get in and 5hrs stuck at the Hammersmith Apollo thereafter meant not getting out till nearly 7pm.
I felt sorry for the 3500 sods outside awaiting the evening session which was meant to start at 6pm!
A taster of what I saw...
A man trying to race snails
A man burping loudly
A women stripping off and trying to set fire to herself
A women clown who stripped off on a unicycle
Lots of dance troups who were fucking awful
A bloke who couldnt sing
A girl aged 14 who couldnt sing but got put through
A man playing the guitar and whistling
Some old bloke yodelling
A man cutting himself
A bloke who dressed up as a lady ga ga in a thong and sung
A bloke in a thong who tried to dance to Titanic theme tune
What shit.
If it wasnt for Cowell and the warm up guy it would have been a waste of time.
Piers Morgan is a bore and Amanda Holden is an old trog compared to Minogue and Cole.
Next year I may audition in a thong and sing Bubbles whilst sucking the tits of an 81yr old Granny. I reckon I may win. |
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Replies - Newest Posts First (Show In Chronological Order)
Chopper 8:53 Tue Feb 9
Re: Britain is Talentless
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So two people from this site went? Or, at least, have admitted to it.
Gone to the dogs I tell you. |
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plaistowhammer1 8:51 Tue Feb 9
Re: Britain is Talentless
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Most people who are genuinely talented get proper jobs and are usually a success at them..... these Britain's got talent shows are for 24 carrot losers and for the successful people of the world to laugh at people cunting themself off on TV. |
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ATBOG 8:49 Tue Feb 9
Re: Britain is Talentless
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"If it wasnt for Cowell and the warm up guy it would have been a waste of time."
Cowell? COWELL?
Sounds like you got what you deserved. |
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Nurse Ratched 8:40 Tue Feb 9
Re: Britain is Talentless
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Britain is Talentless??
I hardly think so!
Reserve your judgment till you've heard my impression of Julie Andrews singing The Lonely Goatherd. |
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twoleftfeet 8:12 Tue Feb 9
Re: Britain is Talentless
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Piers Morgan is a cock.
Fact. |
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HHH 8:00 Tue Feb 9
Re: Britain is Talentless
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Oh and I forgot the "dancing" horse and shetland pony who were doing a Michael Jackson routine.
Problem was they just stood there and did nothing! |
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Raul Duke 5:39 Tue Feb 9
Re: Britain is Talentless
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OverLandandSea 12:47 Tue Feb 9
While calculating their per turn income and smiling. |
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gph 4:01 Tue Feb 9
Re: Britain is Talentless
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Tip to the woman stripping off and trying to set fire to herself: it's easier if you leave your clothes on. |
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ColTheIron 1:48 Tue Feb 9
Re: Britain is Talentless
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Amanda Holden an old trog???
I bloody would. |
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OverLandandSea 12:47 Tue Feb 9
Re: Britain is Talentless
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It please me to know those judges have to waste their days watching such shit. |
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Darlo Debs 11:34 Mon Feb 8
Re: Britain is Talentless
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Was the man who was cutting himself John Terry? |
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Ash Bash 11:34 Mon Feb 8
Re: Britain is Talentless
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I hate Piers Morgan with a passion. The bloke is an utter utter cunt. And Cowell ain't to far behind. |
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Slip_incider 11:21 Mon Feb 8
Re: Britain is Talentless
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I went today as well. Was pretty shyte. The lads dressed up as old blokes and doing some moves got better as it went along.
The fourteen year old had a good voice for someone that age, not brilliant, but she is 14! As for the rest!!!
I've seen that warm up guy a few times at other shows and he always makes me piss myself! And Simon was surprisingly ok! I've always thought he was up himself, but he was very honest and as fed up as the audience at the crap we had to watch. Piers was off on his own little planet. Guess it didn't help the warm up guy took the piss out of him for 5 hours lol And Amanda, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz |
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Ricky 11:12 Mon Feb 8
Re: Britain is Talentless
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You know the rules
LINK a picture of your sister |
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charleyfarley 11:00 Mon Feb 8
Re: Britain is Talentless
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incestuous relationship? |
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HHH 10:51 Mon Feb 8
Re: Britain is Talentless
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Know It All.
It was free, it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Alas when I tried to back out my sister who was my "date" had booked the day off work. Im self employed so made no odds to me but felt bad about letting her down and I dont see her that often as we are all busy working.
It wasnt as good as I hoped. The "talent" was shocking. I was hoping for a Susan Boyle moment. I got a Mike Small moment instead (looked promising but afer a while it became apparent he was shit) |
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Lily Hammer 10:46 Mon Feb 8
Re: Britain is Talentless
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"A women clown who stripped off on a unicycle"
That sounds pretty fucking talented to me. I wouldn't mind seeing that. |
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The Fonz 10:38 Mon Feb 8
Re: Britain is Talentless
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Fuck it just go on and sing bubbles |
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Know it all 10:38 Mon Feb 8
Re: Britain is Talentless
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Why would anyone............
A Think it would be good
B Waste a day, queue up because that's what they wanted to do and then moan about it?? |
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Dougie Diaphragm 10:36 Mon Feb 8
Re: Britain is Talentless
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Is the long story, you're battle to come to terms with your sexuality and finally plucking up te courage to come out of the closet? |
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Irish Hammer 10:35 Mon Feb 8
Re: Britain is Talentless
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"Next year I may audition in a thong and sing Bubbles whilst sucking the tits of an 81yr old Granny. I reckon I may win."
Texas tried that last year, didn't get him anywhere. |
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